The Male Species and Me

"Boys are like busses, you wait for one for ages, then suddenly 3 come at the same time."


Hello, Piece.


I just wanted to put on the record that being a girl can really suck. I, a recently 20 year old college student, have been boyfriend-less for the entirety of my life. Don't get me wrong. Part of it's my fault. I've been rejected by my fair share of guys, but I've rejected some potential males, too. Maybe that trumps my right to complain, but I'm going to do it anyway. Twenty years. TWENTY YEARS, I've been waiting for the right boy to come along and want me. Now all at once, I'm walking around with a flock of boys swarming around my heart, waiting for me to let my guard down so they can pounce. For the sake of my sanity, I must sort this out.


So, Piece, here goes. This is the story of my collegiate dating history.


Chris was the first guy at school that showed potential. I got a free tutor from one of my scholarships, so I decided to use it on Calculus. I met a boy with the same tutor, Chris. Chris was in Navy ROTC and had a smile that made my heart melt. He grew up in Virginia but had moved to Hawaii because of his dad's job as US Naval Commander. We talked and texted for roughly two (solid) weeks and bummed around my dorm with my friends for a night. Then, Chris's dad came for a week-long visit, and I stopped hearing from him. That would have been the end of it, but the day I got back to school after Christmas break, Chris saw me in the dining center. We started talking again, and he told me he wanted to spend a weekend with me. (And don't take that the wrong way.) I told him I might be going home for my brother and dad's birthdays, which I did end up doing. (Family first, right?) I promised him we'd reschedule, but then he fell off the map again. I beat myself up for a few weeks, thinking he was such a player (which honestly isn't that far off) and that I was an idiot for liking him. However, a month later, I made an interesting connection. My friend Eric had met Chris through a roommate but hadn't realized I knew him. When the two of us saw Chris in the dining center, Eric told me the last time he'd seen Chris, the kid had been walking down the street half-drunk, pissed and bummed, because the girl he liked went home for the weekend... Turns out, that girl was me. Snap...!


Guy number two was named Alex. He was a junior in industrial engineering and had a cute, nerdy appeal to him. We met during one of our college's annual radio competitions, and he asked me to late night coffee. (My first ever legitimate date.) We sat and talked for a couple hours, and I had a nice time. He must've had a decent time, too, because he asked me out to breakfast a week later. Honestly, by this point, in the spring of my freshman year of college, I was sick of being single. I wanted things to work out, so I texted Alex. Now, either this kid has limited texting ability or he wasn't that interested in staying in touch. After the school year was up, he disappeared. Got rid of Facebook; didn't answer the two texts I had the lady balls to send. I was done. Ironically enough though, I did talk to a mutual friend a week ago. I was informed that Alex was actually a really odd guy and that I shouldn't spread it around my friend group that we'd dated. Awkward...


This summer, I was in Sweden, visiting my foreign exchange student friend Sofia. She's practically my adopted sister, and I tell her just about everything. Her being European, she always thought it was strange that I'd never been kissed by a guy, let alone had sex with one. So... she set me up. While out one night, Sofia's friend Martin drank and chatted up our group until the wee hours of the morning. As he went to leave, he declared that he was giving goodbye kisses. He pushed through the crowd, kissing all the girls on the cheek, until he got to me. He stood in front of me and told me he was not leaving until we kissed on the lips. That was that. 


...


I may not understand how men work, what their operating procedures are around ladies, or what signs of theirs mean I'm wasting my time. I'm learning though. Little by little, I'm working on figuring out the male species. The guys in my life are making being alive a pleasure. Perhaps if I keep them around, I won't have to be alone anymore. Maybe, I'll find a someone to call my own.


Maybe, Piece, I'll find someone that leads me that much closer to you.