"Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." -John Barth
Hello, Piece.
I told my friends about you today. I finally shared your story with them. I feel it would be appropriate to tell you how I arrived at that conclusion though. Here's the story I've told them, Piece. Here is what they know.
"When I was younger, my family was gifted two Shel Silverstein books, The Missing Piece and The Missing Piece Meets the Big O. Up until tonight, I couldn't remember much about either book except for the fact that I liked them as a kid, but for the honors floor poetry night, I looked them up. Now, quite possibly, I love them even more than I did before." And then, I did it. I wrote down the whole story.
With my blog titled as it is, how is it that I failed to relive the messages played out in those books until now? You've been staring me in the eyes for the past three months, and I'm just realizing the wisdom in your words now?! How on earth did I miss this?
You've been pointing me in this direction for a while, Piece. I'm so glad I finally listened.
Keep pushing me, Piece. Would you please? I know I'm stubborn, but I'm trusting you. I'm trusting that you'll help me get where I should be going. See things in front of my face that I should be seeing. Identify feelings and emotions we both know I have.
Hopefully, I'm up to the challenge, Piece. Hopefully, I'm prepared for what I discover.
Hopefully, I'll find you along the way.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, April 8, 2011
The Successes and Failures of FAP
"Success is counted sweetest By those who ne'er succeed. To comprehend a nectar Requires sorest need. Not one of all the purple Host Who took the Flag today Can tell the definition So clear of Victory As he defeated - dying - On whose forbidden ear The distant strains of triumph Burst agonized and clear!" -Emily Dickinson (Who, because I haven't mentioned this before, is one of my favorites.)
Hello, my dear Piece.
Have you missed me? I'm sorry I haven't written in so long. I've tried a few times, but the things I write haven't been turning out quite right. I attempted to tackle religion. That was a huge mistake. I tried to tell you I had nothing to say, but obviously that didn't turn out well. I also thought about dedicating one post to each of my friends. I think I may still do that, but not tonight. Tonight, I have something to share with you, a realization I made a couple days ago.
The way I see it, if you want to succeed in life you must have a power that drives you - some will or desire, something that pushes you forward. What I've discovered is that, when you hold everything else constant, people who want to make something of their lives (from here on we'll call them FAP - freaking awesome people) fall into two categories named for their guiding forces. They are the FAP who are motivated by a need for success and the FAP who are motivated by a need not to fail.
Sure, Piece. At face value, they seem to be the same thing, but they aren't. Think about it.
FAP with a drive to succeed will work hard. Now, it's not that all FAP don't work hard. It's just that FAP who fall into this particular category want to do what they're doing. For instance, say you meet a success driven FAP who is working on a project for a class. The two of you start discussing it, and you discover this FAP started the project a month before it was due because they wanted to put the time into it. Because they were interested in the material. Because they wanted the project to be the best it could be.
Now, compare this notion with FAP who strive not to fail. Sure. They work hard. Nearly as hard as the success-obsessed FAP. Here's the key difference though - FAP who are afraid to fail only need to do the work required to get a little bit ahead. They would take that same project from above and start it two nights before it was due (if even) and do as much work as possible to make a very nice project before the deadline. It won't be their best work though. It may be close, but they will have been able to do better.
I hope this makes as much sense to you, Piece, as it does in my head.
As you can probably tell, though, I'm a person who doesn't take failure well. I've heard that constructive criticism is supposed to make you stronger and being rejected should make you more independent, but I don't see it that way. I take failing personally. Everything I do is in an attempt not to be told I'm not good enough. Maybe it's just a self esteem thing, but I need to know I can do enough to make someone proud. Granted, when I do occasionally succeed it does feel absolutely amazing, but that's only because I've been shot down so many times.
This is exactly why I have to work to retrain my mind. I can't stay stuck in this train of thought. Success-driven FAP can push through hard times and make something of themselves. I want that, too.
I don't want to be the girl who graduated from college with a degree in Political Science only to sit at a Customer Service desk the rest of my life. Part of me really wants to be a hit; the other part is very scared of what will happen if I'm not up to the challenge.
Do you think you have a fix for this dilemma, Piece? Can you tell me what I need to do to get my life back on course? To get my childhood spirit of excitement back?
I want to become something. Well, you've seen the list. I want to do something with my life. I want to change my mentality, so I can be motivated do it all. I want to be ready when I find you, Piece.
I want to show you just how much of a freaking awesome person I am.
Hello, my dear Piece.
Have you missed me? I'm sorry I haven't written in so long. I've tried a few times, but the things I write haven't been turning out quite right. I attempted to tackle religion. That was a huge mistake. I tried to tell you I had nothing to say, but obviously that didn't turn out well. I also thought about dedicating one post to each of my friends. I think I may still do that, but not tonight. Tonight, I have something to share with you, a realization I made a couple days ago.
The way I see it, if you want to succeed in life you must have a power that drives you - some will or desire, something that pushes you forward. What I've discovered is that, when you hold everything else constant, people who want to make something of their lives (from here on we'll call them FAP - freaking awesome people) fall into two categories named for their guiding forces. They are the FAP who are motivated by a need for success and the FAP who are motivated by a need not to fail.
Sure, Piece. At face value, they seem to be the same thing, but they aren't. Think about it.
FAP with a drive to succeed will work hard. Now, it's not that all FAP don't work hard. It's just that FAP who fall into this particular category want to do what they're doing. For instance, say you meet a success driven FAP who is working on a project for a class. The two of you start discussing it, and you discover this FAP started the project a month before it was due because they wanted to put the time into it. Because they were interested in the material. Because they wanted the project to be the best it could be.
Now, compare this notion with FAP who strive not to fail. Sure. They work hard. Nearly as hard as the success-obsessed FAP. Here's the key difference though - FAP who are afraid to fail only need to do the work required to get a little bit ahead. They would take that same project from above and start it two nights before it was due (if even) and do as much work as possible to make a very nice project before the deadline. It won't be their best work though. It may be close, but they will have been able to do better.
I hope this makes as much sense to you, Piece, as it does in my head.
As you can probably tell, though, I'm a person who doesn't take failure well. I've heard that constructive criticism is supposed to make you stronger and being rejected should make you more independent, but I don't see it that way. I take failing personally. Everything I do is in an attempt not to be told I'm not good enough. Maybe it's just a self esteem thing, but I need to know I can do enough to make someone proud. Granted, when I do occasionally succeed it does feel absolutely amazing, but that's only because I've been shot down so many times.
This is exactly why I have to work to retrain my mind. I can't stay stuck in this train of thought. Success-driven FAP can push through hard times and make something of themselves. I want that, too.
I don't want to be the girl who graduated from college with a degree in Political Science only to sit at a Customer Service desk the rest of my life. Part of me really wants to be a hit; the other part is very scared of what will happen if I'm not up to the challenge.
Do you think you have a fix for this dilemma, Piece? Can you tell me what I need to do to get my life back on course? To get my childhood spirit of excitement back?
I want to become something. Well, you've seen the list. I want to do something with my life. I want to change my mentality, so I can be motivated do it all. I want to be ready when I find you, Piece.
I want to show you just how much of a freaking awesome person I am.
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